I can't believe it. I have a website. An actual website. I keep pouring over
every word, every button, every link, in total awe and disbelief. It's like when I had my kids and would stare at them
for hours, drinking in every toe nail, every eyelash, thinking, "I can't believe this is mine!"
The world of websites has been a mystery that's eluded me for years. It seemed
like anyone could get a website, why couldn't I? For one thing, when I hear phrases like HTML, URL, servers and hyperlinks,
I'm hypnotized into a coma. It was obvious I'd need a designer. But how in the world do you find such an enigmatic
person? Talk about a mysterious mission! Every one I asked would offer up hot leads like, "I know a guy who knows a guy",
or "my nephew did one for my mother-in-law, but now he's booked up with Little League", or even, "Yes!
I've got a really hip, creative, designer who would be perfect for you!" and then you excitedly call the number,
only to find it's been disconnected. At one point I nailed down a confirmed contact, had a phone number and everything,
but almost immediately my "web designer" took a job at a newspaper, moved to Phoenix, and that was the last I heard
of her. Right in the middle of my design.
Now the
crazy thing is, it's not like I'm totally out of it. I'm actually a tad bit up on things. Come on, I've got
a show on Sirius Satellite Radio! But still you'd tune into that show and hear me say, "If I only had a website,
you could actually see this photo I'm talking about. Somebody please help me get a website!" So imagine me, driving
through the back woods of Texas, when I saw a hand-painted sign, nailed to a phone pole for god's sake, "We've
got your Goat. Rollingwranch.com" I went nuts in my rent-a-car, "GOATS??? HOW COME A GOAT FARMER CAN GET A WEBSITE
AND I CAN'T!!!"
Just as I'd given up hope, destiny
intervened. When we moved to Malibu, we coincidentally bought a house next to a guy who would eventually move to Atlanta to
be the guy who would run Web.com. At last! I finally knew "a guy"!
I share this story so you can benefit from my hardships. You too can be like the goat farmer and get your own website.
All you have to do is...move to Malibu and buy a house next to Jeff Stibel. Kidding! Just call Web.com. They can take care
of everything. If they can hoist me up onto the web, they can get you there too! But if for some reason Web.com doesn't
work out, there's a kid on my nephew's little league team...