They came to me with the idea to defend music from the 80's against music affcionados who think if Phil Spector didn't produce it, or Jimmy Page didn't play on it, or if Aretha didn't sing it, it can't be good. Here's how I responded: 

As one of the five original MTV VJ’s, I’m always surprised when people say 80’s music pales in comparison to that of the 60’s and 70’s. Oh 80’s disbelievers, unto you I say, “What you talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?” I mean really, where’s the beef???

While it’s true that the 60’s had lots of groovy music and the 70’s were Right On, it’s also true that the 80’s had all the qualifications an era needs to be musically great.  Fer Shur!

Don’t believe me? Hold on.  Let me twist open a wine cooler, cut the sleeves off my sweatshirt, and pull up my leg warmers. There.
Now I’m ready to give my top ten reasons why music from the eighties was…totally awesome, dude!

10. Synthesizers and Drum Machines: Provided a completely new set of sounds for pop music, and were so monstrously embraced they became the defining sound of the 80’s.

9. Choice Guitar Gods. Eddie Van Halen, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Steve Vai, and Joe Satriani.

8. Aid-Mania. Sure, sure, there was Flower Power in the 60’s and Give Peace a Chance in the 70’s, but show me the money! In the 80’s the music community put its money where its mouth was. Band-Aid, Live-Aid, Hearin’ Aid (remember that? The Heavy Metal version?) Farm-Aid. USA For Africa, Hands Across America, Sun City, everyone had a cause. For the record, USA for Africa raised 65 million dollars for famine relief.

Who can it be knockin’ at my door? Who can it be now? Original MTV VJ Alan Hunter stopping by! Hey Al-Whaddya think?  Al’s contribution:

7. U2: The biggest rock band to come out of the 80’s, U2 had lots to say. They covered social and political issues from Martin Luther King to Irish unrest.  Good one,  Al!

6. You’ve Got The Look : The 60’s had Ricky Nelson and the 70’s had the quintessential cutie, David Cassidy. Not to be outdone, the 80’s had Rick Springfield and Corey Hart. Normally I went for the skinny guys with no pigment whatsoever (think Richard Butler from Psychedelic Furs) but Corey, so earnest about those sunglasses, really got to me.

5. One-Hit Wonders: Catapult through the charts by being incredibly catchy, witty, or innovative. In the 80’s ours were shiny shiny! Here’s some wonders, you fill in the hit. Anwers below.

Lipps, Inc
Dexy’s Midnight Runners
Toni Basil
Tommy Tutone
The Buggles

4. New Sensations:  The 80’s had more than its fair share of music trends beginning or coalescing within its ten years: rap, alternative, new romantic, synth pop, grunge, hair bands, metal, even new age.

3. Metalgum : You just wanna have fun? Get a hold of Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer”. Then segue into Poison’s “Unskinny Bop”, and top it off with a slice of Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”. By the way, I just coined this phrase and I must say it’s totally genius and should go down in music history!

2. She’s Not With The Band, She’s IN the Band: Gender bias in music came tumblin’down in the 80’s. The Go-Go’s were a girl-group who wrote and performed their own songs. Pat Benatar rocked arenas,  Madonna went from borderline to mainstream, and Tina Turner, in her mid-fifties, had the most amazing comeback ever.

And now, the #1 reason why 80’s music was really quite good…

1.    TWISTED SISTER! That’s right, you heard me! Every respectable era of music must have anthems     that rant against the establishment, The Man or the ’rents.
In the 60’s there was the Who’s “My Generation”. In the 70’s there was Kiss’ “Rock and Roll All Night”. In the 80’s? We threw our fists in the air and proclaimed: “We’re not gonna take it. No! We ain’t gonna take it! We’re not gonna take it anymore!!!”
Dee Snider and the boys from Long Island brought us a masterpiece that rocked, rolled, and rebelled. Is that a Twisted Sister pin on your uniform? Wicked to the max.
 

So there you have it, my top 10 reasons why 80’s music was really quite…rad! Thank you, Goodnight!   



One-Hit answers:

Lipps, Inc: “Funkytown”
Dexy’s Midnight Runners: “Come On Eileen”
Toni Basil: “Mickey”
Tommy Tutone: “867-5309, Jenny”
The Buggles: I couldn’t resist this one. Takes me back to August 1st, 1981, to the launch of a little cable channel called MTV.  The first video ever played was…”Video Killed the Radio Star.”

 Cuss Words

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started
cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.  The 6 year old continues,
"When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with
'hell' and you say something with 'ass'.  The 4 year old agrees with
enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he
wants for breakfast, he replies,   "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have
some Cheerios.

"WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor,
gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot
pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.  His mom locks him in his
room and shouts,  "You can just stay there until I let you out! "

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a
stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be
Cheerios.  

This time to my plumber. My plumber's truck, that is!!!

What is wrong with me that I keep smashing cars in my own driveway? I've done it three times in about as many months!!!

First I scraped the side of my husband's brand-new convertible on our gate. Took it in to the dealer and had the scrape buffed out. About a month later,  my own damn mailbox jumped out at me (I swear!) and impaled the same convertible, same side. No amount of buffing could help me that time, we had the entire rear quarter panel (now I know these terms) replaced. As soon as the new paint dried,  I drive my own car into the mirror of my plumber's truck which was parked, where else, in my driveway. You know what I never leave home without?  A frikkin' DENT!

The moment my plumber pulled his truck out of the driveway, (I can pretty much guarantee no one will ever dare to park there again) a friend of ours pulled up to the house. Right on cue-an angel! He's a great guy who loves emotional action and he jumped right into the fray: "OK guys, say you love each other right now, it's not about things!" and "My marriage counselor would say you're each being your parents right now!" and finally, "Is this dialog good for your sex life? Think about that!" My friend Marlon, he was awesome.

Marlon's theory is "there are no accidents" and I'll be given the opportunity to learn the lesson I need to learn over and over until I pass the test. What's the lesson? Marlon says to learn to not take on Jordan's angst as my own, but to lay claim to my own power of joy.

Before he left he picked up my husband's guitar and turned into a singing marriage counselor. I got him to record his sermon onto my computer, I'm going to post it on my site somehow.

The scrape I brushed off. I felt bad about the puncture so I went to Victoria's Secret to try to soothe the savage beast. This time? Good thing I picked up spares!  I better just order the whole catalog!

xoxoxo,
Martha

p.s. I just have to tell you that JED at Landrover Ventura was fantastic. He's the guy I bought my car from and I called him right away, told him what happened, and he set me up with a loaner car, and service, and everything. He was the BEST! If you're anywhere in California I'm telling you right now to call these guys if you're looking for a new car. They could give even  Mick Jagger (customer) satisfaction.